3. Quakers on Polarization by Bob Morse
As Quakers, we wonder how might harmony be created out of
the confusion and chaos caused by polarization.
Our efforts to better get along with our local and international
neighbors are limited by the tools we have on hand. Even in
the process of building peace, we are subject to using unjust
systems. Take for instance our language. The “rule of
thumb” originally referred to the width of a stick,
no wider than his thumb, with which a man was allowed to beat
his wife; “deadlines” were the lines drawn in
military prisons which when crossed meant one would be shot.
Regardless of our intentions, our words and deeds may come
across in ways which are perceived as aggressive. The enthusiasm
with which we present our cause might well be misperceived
as invasive, even belligerent—even when these words
speak of non-violence.
Polarizing words emerge from polarized thoughts. With advanced
technology and increased awareness, we are now blessed with
more information than we’ve been used to processing.
Some of our attempts to be peaceful with our neighbours are
compromised by our struggles to even find peace of mind.
Within the problem of polarization lies its solution. Polarities
are merely choices. Choices become problematic when we assume
that what is favorable for us is also better for everyone.
Mustering up the courage to check out our assumptions can
circumvent misunderstanding. Asking our adversaries to explain
how they reached their conclusions allows us to find common
thoughts and feelings, perhaps even a sense of common humanity.
Often we then come to realize that if we had lived this other
person’s life, we, too, may have developed his or her
world view. The act of listening to a person who holds beliefs
different from our own dissolves the stereotype of our being
non-caring.
Compassion is the antidote for polarization. Compassion is
born out of the realization that without the odd-shaped pieces
the puzzle just won’t fit together. Compassion emerges
when the yin and the yang move beyond just putting up with
each other as we realize that a kernel of each other’s
truth lies within ourselves. Compassion replaces “othering,”
or de-humanizing, with respect. Compassion reminds us that
we can embrace contention as a forum for reconciliation. Compassion
allows us to live peacefully with ourselves, especially through
times which are filled with confusion and chaos.
South Mountain Friends Meeting
Bob Morse, Clerk
Ashland, Oregon
Note: The Quakers in the US have been innovators in conflict
resolution, dialoguing and communication skills.
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