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Healing and Rebuilding Our Community:

Workshops to Restore Peaceful Relationships in an Area of Deadly Conflict

By

Adrien Niyongabo, Coordinator
Healing and Rebuilding Our Community

And

David Zarembka, Coordinator
African Great Lakes Initiative

It has been a wonderful time for me. I have learned how to deal with my trauma and grief that I have from the war we were in. It was hard to keep inside of me what I passed through. We were around forty-nine locked inside of a house and they burned us alive. I am the only one who survived. It was a great opportunity for me to hear that many others went through similar or even worse situations to mine. We all have been traumatized and have been releasing sharing with others. It would be super if we could get such occasions regularly. HROC Workshop, Ruyigi, Burundi, March 27, 2005

Introduction

Violent conflicts fester. A new, more deadly cycle erupts. When the people are dying gruesome deaths, people ask, “What can be done?” “How can this be stopped?”

It is now the conventional wisdom now that World War II occurred because the peace from World War I was punitive and vindictive. Today it is astounding to think that the French and Germans who killed each other by the millions are now uniting in the European Community. The French and English fought each other for hundreds of years and now they too are uniting. Yet in so many parts of the world violence conflict seems inevitability reoccurring.

It is in the times when the violence has died down that work needs to break the cycle of violence. How can this be accomplished?

The genocide in Rwanda and the Crisis (as the Burundians call it) in Burundi did not just happen in April 1994 and October 1993. Violent conflict began in 1959, three years before independence with the encouragement of the Belgian colonial power. Politicians used the ethnic divide as a method to consolidate power and to control the entire population. When a government began to lose power and support, a new round of violence occurred to keep the ruling ethnic group in power—in Burundi this was the Tutsi while in Rwanda it was the Hutu.

This booklet describes a program operating in Rwanda and Burundi which continues to develop both more widely and more deeply to break these cycles of violence. People in our workshops there express their belief that in ten, twenty, or thirty years another round of violent killing that is worse than the last one will erupt. In the case of the Rwanda genocide is hard to imagine anything worse.

“Healing and Rebuilding Our Community” (HROC) workshops are our response to the questions above in Burundi and Rwanda. The first segment below describes one “Healing and Rebuilding Our Community” workshop. This is followed by a description of a series of workshops in the Mutaho, Burundi, internal displaced persons’ camp and surrounding community. Next are excepts from workshops in Ruyigi, Burundi. Lastly there is a brief auto-biography of Adrien Niyongabo who has been the developer and coordinator for many of these HROC workshops. We believe in continuing revelation—the workshops, the strategic use of them, and follow-up activities are still in the process of discernment.

Description of an HROC Workshop

The wolf shall dwell with the lamb, and the leopard shall lie down with the kid.
Isaiah 11:6

Being in the group, where you talk about your stories, is comforting. Hearing someone else’s story, you could realize that you are not alone in the struggle. And when it came to telling others about your story, it was like something heavy was pulled out from the heart and you felt happy. Rwandan Participant

In September 2002, David Bucura, Legal Representative (General Secretary) of Rwanda Yearly Meeting of Friends, was insistent that the African Great Lakes Initiative (AGLI) of the Friends Peace Teams bring trauma healing to Rwanda. After the 1994 genocide, it was clear that Rwandans needed this on a massive scale.

The Friends Peace Teams is composed of sixteen American Quaker Yearly Meetings. The African Great Lakes Initiative (AGLI) is its largest program. In October 2000, AGLI and Burundi Yearly Meeting of Friends began to work towards their vision by starting the Trauma Healing and Reconciliation Services (THARS). To take on another large, overwhelming program so soon required prayerful discernment.

In partnership with the American Friends Service Committee—Africa Region, a one-month training session was held in early 2003 for 15 Rwandans and 3 Ugandans. Prior to this, AGLI had been working with Rwanda Yearly Meeting to introduce, revise, and promote the Alternatives to Violence Project (AVP). AVP consists of three day workshops which emphasize experiential learning using a series of exercises, role plays, small group discussions, “light and livelies” (fun activities to break up the seriousness), and group building.

Adrien Niyongabo from Burundi helped initiative THARS and was one of the trainers for the Rwandan workshop. Under his leadership the Rwandans developed a community trauma healing workshop which is now called “Healing and Rebuilding Our Community.” Again with support from the AFSC—Africa Region, the Rwandans were able to conduct 25 workshops for almost 500 people where they tested and refined the process. Later AGLI sponsored three similar workshops in Uganda and four in Burundi.

In the Rwandan workshops ten of the participants are Tutsi survivors of the genocide and ten are Hutu from the families of the perpetrators or, in some cases, “released prisoners” who confessed to participating in the genocide. Although most of the people at each workshop are from the same community and know each other, they have not communicated with each other for almost a decade. When they gather on the first day the Hutu and Tutsi sits apart, do not make eye contact with the other, and exhibit other signs of nervousness.

I am very happy to see that the person who had the courage to hide my husband and myself when the killers were looking and following us is now with me in this room. We need to accept that there are trustworthy persons within each ethnic group although we passed through horrible periods. Burundi participant.

The most important aspect of the first day is to develop a secure environment where everyone feels free to talk and respected by the others. This may be the first time since the genocide that this has happened.

In this workshop, I have discovered that there are many kinds of trauma. Before I was thinking that only having lost family members is traumatizing. But now I have seen that the wrongdoer can be traumatized by the horrible things she/he did. Genocide survivor.

I am a survivor [of the genocide]. I always had bad dreams and saw people coming to kill me at night. I did not know that I was traumatized, but now I am feeling OK after talking about this. Genocide survivor.

The agenda on the first day includes understanding psycho-social trauma, a new concept for most Rwandan participants, causes and symptoms of trauma, small group discussion on “the effects of trauma on you”--the Tutsi and Hutu are purposely combined in the small groups. Later the groups share their insights. The day ends with a normalization exercise to relax and calm people before they return to their homes and families for the night.

I didn’t realize that I was traumatized. I was surprised to find myself with many of these trauma symptoms you told us. Thank you so much for helping me to know what I am suffering from. Rwandan participant.

We were blind. Learning about trauma healing skills has allowed us to shed light on our past, present, and our future. Personally, I realize that the fact that we have been bearing all the bad events in us has brought back the violence once again. Rwandan participant.

The second day begins with learning good listening skills, followed by learning the stages of grief and loss and how to come out of the trauma. Constructive and destructive ways of dealing with anger are presented in the afternoon.

Myself, as well as my neighbors, have lost many relatives and the situation we are in is unbearable. But I discovered that the main issue is that we have been keeping all inside us. We did not want to tell God, neither our friends about them. Grief can destroy one’s life and body. We now find new skills. God and friends can comfort me. Uganda participant.

Having participated in this workshop, it has lifted me to another stage of understanding. I have a neighbor with whom I am in conflict. I discovered how I have been acting under my anger. Now I am ready to meet with him and tell him that I have acted wrongly. I will ask for forgiveness. Yes, I have been an evildoer. Rwanda participant.

On the third day, the trees of mistrust and trust are introduced. This is an apt analogy for the African rural setting. The participants list the roots and fruits of mistrust on a drawing of a tree. They conclude by cutting down that tree (retaliation, revenge, capital punishment). Next they discuss the roots and fruits of trust, eventually concluding that the bad roots need to be replaced with good roots which then yield good fruits (rehabilitation, resurrection).

When we talked about the mistrust and trust trees, participants expressed how the mistrust tree is real in their hearts and what has been the consequences of such evil. They openly manifested their willingness to uproot that mistrust tree because, they said, it is the origin of all horrible times they passed through for generations. Rwandan participant.

We have to plant the trust tree in our hearts so that every Rwandan can eat its delicious fruits. Rwandan participant.

The afternoon of the third day is a “trust walk” where each Hutu participant is blindfolded and led around by a Tutsi participant and then the roles are reversed and the Tutsi are blindfolded and led around by the Hutu.

Each time I tried to find something to hold on to, my friend told me, ‘Don’t worry, I see for you’ and I believed. Rwandan participant.

The agenda was composed of role plays, trust walk, tree of mistrust/suspicion, tree of trust and group discussion. What a good day!!! It was very touching, inspiring, full of love to see how ex-prisoners [Hutu accused of participating in the genocide] and survivors [of the genocide] were holding each other and carefully they walked together. Rwandan participant.

By the end of these workshops, people who only three days before would have stayed outside in the downpours of Central Africa rather than seek shelter with their opponents, who would have refused to ask for water if they were thirsty because they were afraid they would be poisoned, leave talking and laughing with each other inviting one another over for dinner.

We may have been thinking that we are the only ones in our camp that have suffered more than any one else, but we heard how others passed through very difficult times, too. My mother lost four children. After the second day, I told her about our lesson and she started to tell me a lot about the death of the four. When she was done, she hugged me strongly, and we slept. Ugandan Participant.

I am happy for this program because we are together, even though we came from different sectors, churches, even tribes [Tutsi, Hutu, and Twa]. I discovered how to build a good society after seeing the tree of trust. Rwandan participant.

After we developed this workshop format, while it was clear that we were having an impact on the problems of individual participants, were we having any societal effect on the community? To address this question, we decided to try to have a more substantial impact in a specific community. For our pilot we agreed to work in a Tutsi internally displaced persons’ camp and the Hutu community surrounding it. We selected Mutaho, Burundi, for our first series of workshops.

Healing Mutaho

If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times he comes to you and says, “I repent,” forgive him. Luke 17:4.

On our second day, when a Catholic religious teacher who was attending the workshop was given an occasion to share God’s word as it is our habit every morning, he taught about forgiveness using the passage above. He emphasized that as a community that has passed through difficult periods, we have the responsibility to find how we can be able to forgive even what could be called unforgivable. This brought in the room this sense of communion that every body was clapping hands at the end of the sharing.

Mutaho is about 25 miles north of Gitega which is right in the center of Burundi. The Mutaho area was one of the areas most destroyed by the fighting in Burundi. The commercial center of Mutaho—once a large square with two story buildings on all sides and a market place in the center—has been completely destroyed. During the conflict in 1993 many Hutu and Tutsi killed each other in this area. The two groups became separated as the Tutsi moved to IDP (internally displaced persons’) camps, while the more numerous Hutu stayed on their plots in the countryside. The former neighbors and friends became enemies. This is how the situation remained for the last ten years with little communication between the two groups.

For this Mutaho pilot project we planned to facilitate six workshops with ten Hutu from the community and ten Tutsi from the IDP camp in each workshop for a total of 120 participants. The aim of HROC workshops is to help people cope with societal problems linked to the psycho-social effects of the war. One month after each workshop was completed we proposed a follow-up day to see how the workshop had effected the participants and to reinforce the thrust of the workshops. After all six workshops and three follow-up days were completed, a community gathering/celebration was held with all 120 participants gathered together.

Here are some testimonials from these workshops:

It is a reality that we all are carrying very heavy burdens from what we passed through. Speaking for my self, I have been holding big grief within me for many days. Thanks to a Hutu family that had accepted to hide me after my mum, brothers and other relatives were badly killed. Although I escaped, I witnessed the death of my loved people. It is hurting!! Coming from my exile, I found that there is nothing that I could do to bring back my loved ones. I decided not to revenge. Rather, I started to create good relationship with the killers of my family members although it looks bizarre to some individuals. Still, I have my big trauma to deal with. Thanks so much for having invited me in this workshop. I feel much lighter than when I came. I got a wonderful opportunity to speak about my sufferings. The workshop has been healing for me. Thanks again! Tutsi Participant

I am very sorry to see how our friends do not have back yards in the IDP camp [having a house without a plot where you can plant vegetables and other crops is a sign of poverty]. This is not good and moreover, I know that it is not their preference. My hope is that they will come back to the communities and stay with us. I see this gathering being a way to that. Hutu Participant

One of the more interesting aspects of these workshops is that although they are intended to address societal problems, they often result in more peaceful family relationships. Pain from the conflict also includes anger and violence in the family. It seems that the societal violence and family violence are closely linked. The stories below indicate that societal violence and family violence are closely linked.

I would have been the big loser if death had taken me away before having attended this HROC workshop. I had seen how happy are those who came from these workshops you are organizing and I wondered what they were given. I was overloaded with my bad feelings and this workshop has been an opportunity for me to put down some of them. More, I had been quarreling with my wife and many times I used violence over her. Thank God that I have learned how I can manage my anger. I am ready to change and bring peace in my family. Workshop Participant

After the workshop that I attended, I wished that my husband would get this extraordinary chance too. Fortunately, God answered my prayers! He participated in the last one you conducted. My home has become a paradise! Before we attended these workshops, my husband was always furious. He was treating us as slaves. My home was a hell. Since he had participated in the HROC workshop, he has now time for the children and me. When he comes from work, he greets us, tells us how things have been for him and asks us how we have been doing too (what he never did before). Now he consults me before making any decision. You understand that there is reason for me to be this joyful woman. Workshop Participant

We decided to do two of the six workshops with youth. If there is another round of violence in Burundi, it is these pain-filled youth who will be the major recruits for the groups that will promote any violence that occurs. These workshops gathered young people, half Tutsi and half Hutu, from Mutaho area. Most of these youth were under 10 years old in October 1993, when the separation began—thus, they had lived apart longer than they ever lived together. Young people, half Tutsi and half Hutu, were invited to attend these workshops where they would share their stories, their past. There was no confrontation in our workshops. Instead, both groups were sad because of what happened to their community and felt regret at being in such a situation. The youth were ready to learn new skills and to find healing. They spoke of their depression from the torture they endured and the many losses of loved ones and other destruction. This explained the unhappy faces that participants had at the beginning of the workshop. As usual, towards the end of the workshop, they were more open, hopeful, joyful, energized, excited, friendly and they decided to behave differently. Here are some comments from the youth.

These teachings are special. The more we did things, the more I got released. Really, they are unique! It would be hard for people to kill each other when they have been laughing and crying together in such gathering. You end up by becoming friends. Youth Participant

I discovered that the tree of mistrust that was within me was too big. I could not think at any time that I could speak from the heart to those who are not from my ethnicity. Very few are the times I am happy. Little by little, as we went on with the workshop, I got this joy that I can’t tell and found that there are still loving people. Yes, I have found a way to uproot my tree of mistrust. Youth Participant

My grief starts from 1993. The year of 1993 has left in me a big wound. I was always jealous for those who still have their parents. But now, I realized that it is good to put myself in God’s hands and start to live friendly with my neighbors. Youth Participant

During the first adult workshop, a Tutsi woman reported:

I am happy that I leave this workshop with a new dream that there will be a special day. That day, I see myself going to the Gitega prison where our former administrator [former chief of the commune who is accused of organizing the killing of Tutsi in the Mutaho area] is kept. I will ask to see him. I will be bringing him food. I will hug him. He will not, maybe, recognize me. I will tell him that I come from Mutaho IDP camp. I will show him that love has replaced hatred. I will be happy that day.

Later Pastor Sebastien Kambayeko, a facilitator in that workshop, reported the following:

A group of Tutsi widows living in the IDP came to me and told me how the two trees: Trust tree and Mistrust tree have impacted them. From their sharing, they emphasized that in order to give a place to the Trust tree, as single parents, they need to prepare the way for their children and grandchildren by forgiving their wrongdoers. Thus, one of the ways to do that would be to support the idea expressed by one of them during their last workshop. This idea was to go to Gitega prison and meet the Mutaho Hutu former officials, tell them that, “Maybe, they would doubt about our act because what they did to our families is woeful, but we will not give up. We would go there for a second time, sit with them and talk. We need peace for our next generation.”

At last report we learned that the women had gone to Gitega to ask the Provincial Administration for permission to visit the prisoners.

The follow-up workshops had two main topics: in the morning small groups shared “What did I get from the HROC workshop I attended and how is it helping me, in my life and my community.” The afternoon, focused on “Level of Trust in my Community.” It is clear that many of the participants had taken to heart the message—it is necessary to care for others whomever they may be. Here are examples:

These teachings helped to change people’s minds really. Before we attended these workshops, we feared to meet with the person from the opposite ethnicity even if you did not know anything bad about him or her. But now, there is no more fear and the hatred has been replaced by love. I am a Hutu. Whenever I was passing near the IDP camp, in my mind, it was like all the Tutsi we crossed were suspicious about me. But now, when I pass near the same IDP and see these people, we hug each other laugh and chat. I think that this is lesson and model to those who see us! The HROC workshop has made us to be a model in our community. Hutu Participant

The skills that I got in the workshop that I attended have enabled me to be compassionate in helping others. A few days ago, on the queue at the hospital waiting for our turn, I saw a woman sitting under a banana tree, crying and saying things like a crazy person. I immediately went to her, sat beside and holding her in my arms. She kept on crying! After a while, she stopped crying and looked at me very surprised. I told her that I felt pity to see her alone. I asked her what happened and she revealed to me that her child had passed away. I listened to her and we finally sent somebody to go and call her husband. This was a great experience for me. I could not accept that I would have been empowered to that level. Workshop Participant

Now I am able to manage my anger. Before the HROC workshop I attended, I used to be angry to the point that I would later plan to come and kill the one who made me angry. Now I am eager to accept that problems can erupt among people and still there is a way to resolve them instead of killing each other. I now feel proud of myself because my neighbors keep coming to me asking for advice. For sure, they know better than any one else that the changes in my behavior are real. Workshop Participant

I am a muchingantahe [a wise man who helps adjudicate local cases]. I used to ask for a bribe from one of the two parties in conflict so that I may give him or her favor. Just after the last day of the workshop I attended, one woman came to me with money in hand. Trying to hand it to me, she said that she wanted me to help her win the case opposing her neighbors. I listened to her and when she was done, I quietly told her that I could not touch her money. Instead, I suggested that she could go and meet the one with whom she was in conflict and try to talk about the issue. Two days later, she came back happy for they were able to resolve the issue by themselves. Another man came with the same intention but still I refused the bribe. I told him that I am no longer the same person they used to see. HROC has changed me! I am happy that people in my community know that I have abandoned that worthless habit and that they can unify by themselves. Thanks for the HROC workshop because I have got light and courage. I have become conscious that bribe is one of the roots of mistrust tree. And I have up-rooted it! Workshop Participant

In the follow-up workshop for the youth, the participants said that if the adults continue with the hatred, then young people should play the mediators so that the new generation may inherit a “restful community.” Here is the report of one young woman:

I am a Tutsi living in the IDP camp. I was around ten when the war reached our area. I remember that day when Hutu beat my young brother to death. My mum asked our Hutu neighbor to escort her so that she could take my brother to the hospital. Pitilessly, he told her “Don’t you know where you have buried your husband? Take him there too!” Hopelessly, my mum and I went to the hospital but my brother died in mum’s arms before we could reach the hospital. We turned back and took the trail to the cemetery. Only two of us, two females, buried my brother. This would never have happened before the war. After we were done, we went home crying. Since that time, I considered the Hutu man as a monster as well as his wife and children as we say in Kirundi “the mouse’s baby is victim of his mum’s hate.” After the HROC workshop I attended, I used to sit and meditate. One day, I decided to rebuild the destroyed relationship with that family. Unfortunately, the man had died. Still, I went to his daughter, who is almost my age, and told her my sad story. I openly told her that this was the only reason that I hated them. She was very sorry to hear what her father did to us. In tears, she humbly asked if I would be eager to forgive her father though he had died, her family and her too! I responded to her that that was my aim for coming and talking to her. We are now friends, real friends. I have forgiven! Without HROC workshop skills, especially the tree of trust, I am not sure if I would have come to that decision. Young Tutsi Participant.

On January 23 the Mutaho gathering/celebration was held. Most of the 120 participants attended as did 15 of the 16 HROC facilitators—3 from Ruyigi missed their ride at Kibimba and took bicycle taxis the 23 miles to Mutaho! Most of the leaders of the Friends’ Church, together with the local Catholic priest and government officials, attended. A drumming group and the choir from the local Mutaho Friends Church performed. The usual prayers, sermon, and speeches were given. Each emphasized the need for peace and reconciliation in the community. It is clear that the people who attended the workshops used the skills and knowledge that they acquired to help others in the community and become leaders in promoting the development of peaceful relationships. It is ironic that so little can do so much. One woman said, “We need many more of these workshops since there are over 100,000 people in the community.” Nothing could be so challenging!

Reports from HROC Workshops in Ruyigi, Burundi

The internally displaced persons’ (IDP) camp in Ruyigi, called Sanzu IDP camp, was the next to benefit from a series of the six HROC workshops. Ruyigi is the province on the eastern border with Tanzania. The rebels who were attacking Burundi from Tanzania used Ruyigi province as a door for coming and getting. As a consequence, many Ruyigi residents lost their loved ones, houses and belongings were destroyed or stolen, many IDP camps (for Tutsi) were set up and many Hutu fled to Tanzania and stayed in refugee camps. Because of the precarious security situation and fear of being found and killed in their homes, both Hutu and Tutsi left their homes and many times passed nights in bush. This kept the Ruyigi population in a permanent wait for death until the cease-fire was signed in 2003. This cease-fire brought them a big relief although the war had left them with many widows, orphans, rape and torture victims, destructions, mutual accusation and hatred. It is in that atmosphere in Ruyigi that HROC went to work together to help them find how to deal with their psychosocial problems.

These are participant testimoney from this series of workshops:

Before my coming to this HROC workshop, I was holding a lot of confusion into my heart. I used to have not more than two hours of sleep every night. The rest of the night, I had to keep thinking about what happened to my family and me. Some times, I could see myself in the bush, I could hear the crying of lost kids, see people coming to kill me with machetes or hear gun shooting. It is painful, I tell you! But since we started the workshop, I am able to get 5 nice hours of sleep. I could not believe it, the first time. The morning of the day before yesterday, when I woke up, I was more happy, energized, loving parent; life has changed. There is no doubt this workshop has comforted me so much. It is like I have shifted my life. It is now lighter. Many thanks for having come!

I would start by thanking you all so much for having been that kind with me [during the workshop, she used to cry a lot but folks never seemed to be upset]. You know, I escaped from death. During the war, I passed a whole day laying down with dead bodies. In fact, killers thought that I was dead too but in fact, they had wounded me on the leg only. My husband was assassinated the same day. Today I am a single parent raising my kids. It is tough! I hated myself and the life that I was living. At some point, I told myself that it would be better for me to leave behind my kids and go elsewhere; but I did not know or have where to go. But now, after these three days, telling you the truth, I feel different. I am happy. My live is still livable! From the sharing groups, I found that my case is not an exception as I used to think. It is good that I have started to get in touch with my life!

It is my first time to be in a gathering like this where Hutu, Tutsi can be that open. The big lesson I got from this is to repent the wrong things that I did. Please, come back again so that people would find how they could get released!

Being kidnapped by rebels traumatized me. Since then, I could not dream being cooperative at any time. This workshop helped me to rebuild my trust.

I learned so much from this workshop. Really, this program is healing. I recently returned from a refugee camp in Tanzania. I was discouraged by how hard is to get food for my family. Wherever I was, the only idea I had in mind was to flee again and this time leaving my family behind. Now I have changed. I am convinced that this is the effect of the lot of grief I have been accumulating. I need to focus on it. There is a possibility to work for my family and life could become better. I have regained hope!

I was pleased by how we gathered as people from different ethnicities and religions. It was clear that these teachings touch our daily life and I found that this is a way to put out what was separating us. This workshop gave me an opportunity to do an introspection and I realized that what happened in my community has changed the whole view of my neighbors that I had before. I feel that I want to become a good tree once again. Yes, it can be possible.

I have no father, no mother and no brother or sister. I am the only one who survived the killings in my family. Now only those that I meet in seminars and workshops like this one constitute my new family. So, it has been a great pleasure for being here.

I recently came back from Tanzania. To hear how Tusti have suffered changed the whole view that I have about them. It is touching to see how open we were one to another. This helped us to learn how to live together again. I felt welcomed.

A number of these workshops were done with youth. These youth were very active in the workshops and their enthusiasm was obvious. For most of them, this was their first time to learn about healing from the past. We have been touched by how talented they were although this field was new to them. It was with great sadness that these youth realized that it is the tree of mistrust that has grown where they live. But their strong wish was to see the tree of mistrust being transformed into the trust tree so that killings not would happen again. For the first time in our HROC workshops, one participant suggested that families doing Ikibiri (in Kirundi it is having a group cultivates a plot for one person in the group and going around until everyone’s plot in that group is cultivated) would strongly contribute to the trust tree planting. Other suggestions were mutual respect, truth telling, forgiveness, prayers and love.

It is true that we have lost our parents. Now I live in an orphanage. And many times I loose hope. However, being in this workshop and sharing with those who still have their parents I realized that, at some points, their problems are greater than mine. I understood that every body has his/her live to life and I felt comforted.

I liked the small groups sharing the most. My sister and I endured serious domestic violence from our parents’ bad relationship. Sometimes I consider myself as a cursed child. I could not speak when I was in the group with others. But now, I feel empowered. Hearing others’ stories comforted me, brought me self-esteem.

It is surprising to find how open we were. I am so glad to see how we young people have been able to give our thoughts. I was discouraged by my situation at home [this youth is an orphan and, as the oldest, plays the role of the head of the family] but now I start to see how I can face some of those issues.

I go home with a lot of skills. Sometimes, I was afraid of looking back to my past because it was very frightening and the consequence was to be upset all the time. I am amazed by how happy I am after this workshop. It is really healing!

I was very happy to get news from our old friends who are now staying in the communities where we used to live when I was a little child. In these three days, I discovered that it is possible to trust one another again. Staying together as people from the IDP camp and the surrounding community helps to bring back reconciliation and reestablish relationships.

I recently came back from Tanzania. Many kinds of workshops were conducted in the refugee camps but nothing concerning our inner healing. Knowing what I passed through, I am expecting to gain a lot from this HROC workshop.

I appreciated the healing from the grief session. Even though it is not always easy in our culture to cry, I got a wonderful occasion for me to cry and I felt comforted. It is true that tears, not only women’s tears but men’s ones too, bring relief to the person.

The trust walk reminded me of the time we fled. It was night and we could not see where to go. Only God guided us and we reached our destination. In this game, I could not believe that my partner, whose ethnicity is different from mine, would behave like that God who protected me that night. It is a must that love has to be back in people’s hearts. Obviously we Burundians have created a kind of “refugee camps” in our hearts. And there, we live with our hatred, rage, feeling of revenge, grief, desolation, … I think it is time for us to get out from those inner “refugee camps” and love one another. This transformation needs to take place in us and then we will be trusted by our neighbors.

I discovered that I have been using anger over my children. Since now, I commit to change. I want to be kind with them.

I send heartfelt thanks to all those who contributed for this workshop to happen here in Ruyigi. I have gained a lot from it. One day, I quarreled with one of my friends. As I was holding my radio, I immediately broke it down just to show him how big my anger was. Seeing what happened, my friend suggested paying me half of the price of the radio so that he could take the pieces to a radio repairer and keep it for himself if it could get repaired. I strongly refused and decided to throw it into a latrine. My neighbors had seen what happened said to me, “If you do not give up with your anger, you will even kill us.” I was ashamed! Thanks to you because now I have learned new ways, constructive ones in dealing with my anger. I am going to start trying them for the safety of my community and mine too.

Conclusion

Burundi Yearly Meeting and the African Great Lakes Initiative plans to continue to develop the program “Healing and Rebuilding Our Community.” We plan to hold a series of workshops in one or two more IDP camps in Burundi every three months. A strict evaluation of the workshops is planned with both a pre-test and post-test methodology. We hope to produce a 25 minute video on the workshops. In Rwanda we are continuing to develop a similar program to meet the conditions in that country.

Friends (Quakers) are a small religious group in the world. What we do best is bringing two sides of a conflict together in a non-violent setting to settle their differences in a peaceable way. This is how we bring the Peaceable Kingdom of God here on earth.
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My Life Was Given Back to Me Again

My name is Adrien Niyongabo, born in 1972. I am married to Odette Nahayo. Together God has blessed us with three children: Ketsia Mugisha, Jonathan Nganji and Joshua Nziza.

In our family, I am the second child and have one brother and two young sisters. My parents chose to call me NIYONGABO at my birthday to emphasize God’s mercy and power during that dark period of the history of my country. In fact, the year 1972 symbolizes the darkness that occurred when happened what some would call genocide when approximately 50,000 educated Hutu leaders were massacred by the Tutsi Burundi army.

I was born in Musaga, one of the southern suburbs of Bujumbura, the capital of Burundi. Our neighborhood was not very crowded. Each family had a house (without fence) with a back plot for vegetables. My family had enough to feed us three times a day. Before we reached school age, our parents used to leave us alone at home when they had to go to cultivate the fields. The oldest had the responsibility to take care of the young kids. A child would never mind his/her parents leaving him/her at home because there were many of us and all day we were playing different games. Those who got tired would lay down and rest. The parents who were the first ones to come from the fields would feed their children and the neighbor’s children. We were all treated as brothers and sisters.

My memory goes back to those days when it rained. The first thing to do was to take the young kids into one of the homes. As we knew whose mother was too strict with cleanliness, we would not take the young kids in that home for fear that at the return of the mother our friend(s) would be seriously beaten. So, we had to be so cautious in choosing which house to put them in. After that we took off all our clothes and, naked, we ran into the rain, up and down, back and forth until the rain was over or we got tired. This was our rainy bath and as far as I know, only boys did this exercise. I have never asked myself why. My favorite time was summer vacation when the school kids and younger ones had to play together. One of the school children would play the teacher and all the others would be students. It was so wonderful to learn writing and reading from our brothers and sisters. These games activated our thirst for going to school.

At the age of 7, the separation between my father and my Mum came to shorten my familial joy. In that matter, my Mama stood up and accepted to take care of us on her own without remarrying. I can still hear her soft voice telling us, when it was time for bed, that God sends every night and day the guardian angel to protect us and that nobody would come and break the door. I could then understand that the God that the priest had told us about numerous times did exist. As a woman single-parent, Mama could not pretend to afford the cost of school for four kids when she had to live on cultivating our little property and on no other remunerating business. She used to tell us, “I will do all that is possible so that you go to school to learn reading and writing. It is shameful to see a person going to ask someone else to read him/her a letter sent by a friend. I do not want such thing happening to you.” That is why we could be brought to school with the precarious economic situation at home. God’s protecting hand stayed up on us as friends and relatives helped to cover my school expenses. We all finished our primary school, and some of us did the secondary level and others went on to the university too. What a courageous and loving Mama who suffered during her marriage, but decided not to remarry for the safety of her kids!

After my primary school in Bujumbura and Rutana (one of the eastern provinces of Burundi), I attended Buta Catholic secondary seminary school (located in the southern part of the country) from which I graduated in June1993. Although many of the priests at the Seminary School were expecting me to go on with priests’ studies, I chose to go to the Public University where I hoped to do the undergraduate program in the Psychology Department. Unfortunately, against my will, I was offered the Applied Pedagogy Department by the government. Due to the massacres of students that occurred in the university campus in 1995, I was forced to stop my formal education.

In 2000, I co-founded the Trauma Healing and Reconciliation Services (THARS). This initiative was a partnership between Burundi Yearly Meeting of Friends and African Great Lakes Initiative (AGLI) of the Friends Peace Teams (FPT). In 2001, our team attended a four-month Trauma Healing, Conflicts Resolution and Peace Building training organized by the Quaker Peace Centre in Cape Town, South Africa. We came back to Burundi where we started sensitization workshops, counseling and training lay people, pastors and pastors’ wives, teachers, and NGOs’ staff in issues of trauma healing.

In 2003, at the request of Rwanda Yearly Meeting of Friends, I went there to help start a trauma healing program. The aim of this program was to help genocide survivors and suspected genocide perpetrators, who needed to find ways to face the remembrance of the past and live together in their communities. We set up a community trauma healing focused workshop module that helps people deal with the psychosocial problems caused by the warfare and devastation that had occurred. Proud of the excellent results from the trauma healing work in Rwanda, I went back to Burundi in October 2003 where we tried the same workshops with the Burundian population. The results were so encouraging. In 2004, we began our Healing and Rebuilding Our Community (HROC) program. Until now, I am coordinating the HROC activities.

I grew up Catholic as my parents both were. I came across Friends in November 1993. At that time I had fled my home because of lack of security and had gone to find refuge in Kamenge. There, a family friends of ours, housed me. Coincidentally, I met there other young people. One of them, Odette Nahayo was a Quaker, a member of Kamenge Monthly Meeting in Bujumbura, whom I married four years later. Now that I know what it is to be a Quaker I can affirm that she was really a Quaker. I am a member of Kamenge Monthly Meeting. In my church, I am one of the twelve elders and have served on the Rescue and Christian Education Committee.

In my life, there are many valuable people and facts that have greatly contributed to my choice of the work that I am doing now. I feel eager to talk about two of them. First, my Mama is the more significant person. The way she accepted the suffering from her marriage just for our benefit taught a lot to me. It is from her I drew my compassion.

Second is that darkest night which turned to be a wonderful morning. In October 1993, the death of the first Hutu elected president gave rise to a new round of massacres between Hutu and Tutsi. The night of the 23rd, the governmental military, attacked my suburb. The Hutu were forced to leave the area or to hide themselves. As many others did, I followed the queue toward the hills surrounding Bujumbura. Unfortunately, after just one mile, I was stopped by two men with guns; stopped and forbidden to follow the others. Before I could even ask why, they added that I was a Tusti--the stereotype because I am tall and thin. They said I was following the Hutu who fled Musaga so that I could investigate how things were settled and maybe go back to tell the governmental Tutsi army. “So, we are going to kill you,” they said. I kept quiet, waiting, expecting to see God in few seconds.

In a short time, a man came up to where we were and asked them what that I was doing there. They answered him the same way they had told me before. And the man said, “Please, I know who is his Father, who is his Mum. He is a Hutu as we are. Let him join the others.” One of the two men asked him: “Do you know him really?” The man responded by saying, “Yes, yes!!!” Turning to me, the two men with guns said, “ You are saved, guy. You can keep on following others!” Could I believe it? Like a new morning, the dark night looked to me. My life was given back to me again. Praise the Lord! This entire incident came from the stereotypes, which we use in Burundi to say that this person is a Hutu or Tutsi. In some cases, one can be totally wrong mostly with our patriarchal system, where one relies on his father’s ethnic group independently from the mother’s ethnic group. This event encouraged me to have an inward look. Many other innocent Burundians--men, women, girls, boys, like me--would have been murdered in similar circumstances. I felt great bitterness and wished that I would get an opportunity to participate in reconciling the two groups.

I thank the Almighty God for what I am doing now. It is my calling. I am very excited and very pleased doing the Healing and Rebuilding our Communities work because that is my goal, my purpose. I am still optimistic that little by little, we will make our communities a home to live in again. Thanks to Burundi Yearly Meeting and African Great Lakes Initiatives/Friends Peace Teams for their willingness to help me nurture my devotion to peace work through Healing and Rebuilding Our Communities.

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